REVISED: FotJ: Abyss Ch 22
by Certain POV
Summary: Like my previous REVISED, this also somehow lands on a 22, like a Catch 22; a situation you just can't win, no matter what. This is a revised version of Luke and Ben's confrontation with Jacen in the Lake of Apparitions.


**Disclaimer: Whatever text that doesn't belong to me belongs in Troy Denning's** ** _Star Wars: Fate of the Jedi: Abyss_**.

Peering up from the Lake of Apparitions was a familiar face with brown hair and a thin Solo nose. However, in lieu of the yellow eyes of a Sith Lord, as Ben had expected, the being beneath him had the friendly brown eyes of his cousin, Jacen Solo.

Recalling that neither Mara nor Anakin had responded until their names were spoken aloud, Ben bit back the urge to utter his former Master's name. The last thing he wanted to do was speak to his mother's killer. There was a time when he wanted to speak to Jacen – but even that urge had been purged from him in the Kathol Rift, under the tutelage of his Aing-Tii instructor Tadar'Ro.

Then, Ben had commenced flow-walking, and he had travelled back to when Jacen was about to leave the Aing-Tii monks, only to see that his cousin was doomed to walk the path of Darth Caedus.

But something in Ben compelled him to kneel down before his mother's killer and deliberately utter, "Jacen."

The image of Ben's cousin rose up from out of the water, and once he had reached the surface, the eyes, as sad now as they had been when they were submerged, looked between Luke and Ben.

"I won't ask your forgiveness," Jacen said.

"Good." Luke's voice was not unkind, only firm. "Because I don't think I could give it."

Jacen shifted his gaze back to Ben. "I want you to know – all the anger and the hate, I didn't bring it with me. Tell Jaina that I forgive her."

Ben's temper immediately began to blow. "You forgive _her_?!" he spat. "Do you have any idea what you put _her_ through?! You pompous, self-righteous-"

" _Ben_!" Luke barked. " _That_ isn't the reason that I let you come along. Remember what you promised your mother."

After a moment of calming himself down, Ben nodded and said, "You're right, Dad." He looked back at Jacen. "I hope you can forgive me for that."

"I can only imagine the pain that I put Jaina through," Jacen said with genuine regret. But then his tone and expression changed into one of restrained rage. "But do you have any idea what she put _me_ through?"

Luke's Force-presence and outward expression remained patient and passive, and Ben only managed to keep his own emotions in check; if Jacen had something to say, then it was better that he get this out of the way as soon as possible, and it was clear that even Luke couldn't keep the spirit at bay.

"I sacrificed my own _life_ to save Tenel Ka and Allana!" Jacen screamed. "And even after I told her that I didn't want to fight anymore, that I just wanted to save them! She didn't believe me, couldn't sense that I was telling the truth! And when I died, I thought for an eternity that I failed! How could she do that to me?! To _me_?! Her own twin brother, who was willing to sacrifice everything so that Allana could live!"

"You brought that on yourself," Ben found himself saying in a surprisingly cold tone. "After all you did."

"No!" Jacen rebuked. "My actions were my own, yes! But so are Jaina's actions _her_ own! AND SHE DECIDED TO KILL ME!"

"We thought you to be irredeemable," Luke replied in a tone no warmer than Ben's. His tone did soften, however, when he continued by saying, "Jaina never told us what you did for Allana."

Jacen paused, and then his screams of anguish turned to hysteric laughs as he collapsed on his haunches and brought his hands to his temples. The living Skywalkers watched him with not the least bit of sympathy.

"Of course!" Jacen chuckled-sobbed. "Of course she wouldn't tell you!" His arms fell off to their sides and he looked back up at his uncle and cousin. "That would mean she'd have to confront what she did." He shook his head and looked back down at the lake. "And if she did that... she'd know where she went wrong... as a Jedi."

Ben's hands formed into fists; the only reason he didn't lash out, aside from upsetting his father more than Jacen must already be doing, was because he knew that as a spirit, Jacen would probably be unaffected by whatever attacks that his living cousin launched.

"The New Jedi Order's oh-so precious Sword," Jacen muttered, still not looking back up at either Skywalker. "All she knows is how to fight; and how to lead Jag and Zekk on."

Jacen then looked back up at the exiled Jedi Grand Master. "That's how your Jedi Order is doing, Uncle Luke," he murmured. "You're leading a buncha violent sociopaths even when you're not leading them in person. Kenth Hamner, Saba Sebatyne, Kyp Durron, Kyle Katarn, and even others like Cilghal and Corran Horn are behaving like idiots now. And because of that, your Jedi Order will fall."

"That's enough, Jacen," Luke practically growled.

"No, it's not," Jacen said through gritted teeth as he pushed himself to his feet. "How could you, the man who redeemed Darth Vader and Kyp, give up on me like that?"

"Now who's blaming the other man for his own actions?" Luke retorted.

"You're the Grand Master of the Jedi Order!" Jacen exclaimed, ignoring his uncle. "I'd think you would be the pinnacle of compassion, especially to his own nephew!" He guffawed. "I guess all thoughts of redemption went out the window when I killed your wife, didn't they?"

"How DARE YOU!" Luke roared. At that, the entirety of the Lake of Apparitions quavered under his power; even Ben flinched at what had just happened, in spite of himself.

When the lake settled down, all three of them were utterly silent for what felt like an eternity; in the Lake of Apparitions, time seemed to fade in relevance.

"You came here to ask me a question, didn't you?" Jacen said, finally breaking the uncomfortable quiet.

Luke took a longer eternity to compose himself. "Yes."

"Gimme one good reason why I should comply."

"Because I know who I saw sitting on the Throne of Balance," Luke said. "Allana, surrounded by a retinue of species from all across the galaxy. She looked quite happy; untainted by the dark side."

"So you wanna know who I saw sitting on the Throne."

"Yes."

"Someone who'll take bring your pathetic Jedi Order down because of its weakness," Jacen said. "And even if I knew who he was, I wouldn't tell you, because you don't deserve to know. And I know, that even after you take this as a warning, it won't matter; he will bring you all down."

Ben detected no maliciousness in his late cousin's tone; only bitterness, as if the Jedi were really in the wrong instead of him. What a self-deluded bastard.

"If that were the case," Luke said calmly, "then Allana wouldn't be on that Throne."

A voice all too familiar to Luke sounded from throughout the lake.

"Always moving, the future is."

Another pregnant pause followed, all three of them remaining expressionless.

"I did horrible things, I know that," Jacen said. "I don't deny it; I accept it. I accept it with all my heart. And now I wonder if anything I did was necessary." His gaze narrowed back upon the Skywalkers, specifically Luke. "But just because I was wrong, doesn't mean you aren't. I'm not the only self-deluded bastard around here."

Ben kept his eyes from widening in shock; did Jacen read his thoughts?

"You're right. There have been others, all of whom died because of their stupidity," Luke pointed out evenly.

"On that, we can agree," Jacen replied with dejection.

Another pregnant pause, then Luke and Ben turned and began walking away; the former had wordlessly told his son, through the Force, that it was time to go. Ben only glanced back to find Jacen sinking back down beneath the lake.

But just before Jacen's head was submerged, Ben felt danger.

"I feel it, too," Luke said as Ben's head turned back from Jacen. "We have to hurry."

But even as he rushed away with his father to return to the real world, where they were to confront whatever danger awaited them, Ben couldn't help but feel that Jacen was the one who gave them that spike of danger, as if he were the one who silently warned them of whatever they would be facing once they returned to their bodies.

And with that, Ben also couldn't help but think about Jacen's tacit agreement with Luke, the last thing he said before he and Luke left; it seemed, to Ben, that Jacen agreed, in dejection, not out of resentment or hatred, as could be understood, but out of... misgiving... pity... sadness.

But not for himself.


End file.
